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The Canyon Man And His Fight Against Modern Technology
For the vast majority of people these days, the ways in which modern technology has made their lives more comfortable is taken almost for granted. Even those famous haters-of-all-things-technological, the Amish, or looking at shooing their horses with newfangled horseshoes that promise to deliver at least 50 miles from a bag of horse oats, at minimum.
And this is where the fabled 'Canyon Man' will need to make some serious adjustments. Everybody has one of these guys in the neighborhood. On Sunday mornings he's usually out working under the hood of his 35-year-old vehicle that spews out a cloud of blue smoke whenever it's turned on, but this guy will never trade it in or buy a new car, unfortunately.
It's easy enough to pick this guy out around the neighborhood. For one, he has a leather watch band on his wrist that was given to him in appreciation of all his service after the end of World War I. For another, he is the guy who constantly rails against all these newfangled doodads that kids are sporting on their own wrists these days, claiming that they're actually mind-enslavement tools.
Canyon Man is also uncomfortable with any sort of viewing technology when it comes to a television that doesn't have something to do with a large picture tube sitting inside of a console that that resembles the log cabin that Abraham Lincoln probably went to law school in or something that Noah threw overboard once his ark made landfall.
For those considering tying Canyon Man down and gifting him with a custom LCD TV, forget about it. Not only wouldn't he even come close to touching it, but he probably would go into a catatonic trance if he heard the words 'digital video disc player.' At a minimum, he would go frothy-mouthed with rage at being forced to watch even a video cassette, not that he could probably announce the word anyway.
Now that digital video signals have completely taken over the airwaves, it's probably a fair bet that Canyon Man is sitting in his house pounding on the side of that big old console TV wondering how to get all that snow off the picture. If the words 'digital converter box' ever pass his lips, it will be time to wonder if the Second Coming has arrived. Certainly, a TV with LED backlight technology will forever be beyond his grasp, both intellectually and morally.
The question, then about whether or not modern technology will overwhelm the Canyon Man is an important one, if not for him than for the rest of us who have to put up with him and his obstinate refusal to get out of those disco bellbottoms and get with the real world. The blue smoke from the car is bad enough, but the wide-collared shirts and leisure suits are going to need to go.
dell xps l501x backlit (with keyboard from dell studio 1450)
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